Curiosities of China, Bureaucrats and Chinglish

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Whilst living in China, I came to the conclusion that somewhere in the darkest depths of the local government of Beijing there was a bureaucrat who was grossly under employed.

As we all know, any bureaucrat who finds himself with no real work to do, will quickly invent jobs for himself. There is some natural law about this, I just cant bring its name to mind just now.... but it has to do with the survival of this particular species (Bureaucraticus underemployedius).

A number of local regulations came into effect which were hard to explain using logic as a starting point. 
 
To wit:-
  1. All taxi drivers had to wear ochre shirts and rather startling striped ties.
  2. No dogs taller than 25 cms at the shoulder might live within the part of Beijing defined by the fourth ring road.
  3. All shops had to have identical letter type and sized name boards above their shops.
Furthermore, a concerted attempt was made to wipe out one of the most creative and enjoyable uses of English I have ever come across.... What we called Chinglish. This is a sometimes too literal translation from Chinese to English that occurs. For some reason the powers-that-be felt that this reflected badly on China. In my view it was quite the reverse, it showed such a refreshingly original approach to language that I am almost inclined to suggest it be encouraged and made the subject of university courses, and generally kept alive and healthy.
 
 
This sign was on the grass outside our flat
Who could resist such linguistic gems as the following examples of Chinglish (all genuine, I promise you). Spelling mistakes are in originals.
  • Deformed man toilet (sign on a lavatory for handicaped men)
  • Police tips; Avoid being stolen should be always remembered. Be prepared for danger in times of safety. (Police warning sign)
  • Salute to the tourists who keep the public hygience.
  • I like your smile, but unlike you put your shoes on my face (Keep off the grass sign)
  • When old man's child go up hand ladder temporary need the family to accompany (sign at foot of stairs)
  • Sham Poo Label on a bottle of ... shampoo
Reminds me of something I saw on a menu outside a restaurant in Spain once Putrified Lamb.

And so it goes on..... Blissful, poetic use of language... Long may it live on in China.

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